Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Here's a great article on how to talk to partners about your status.

To tell or not to tell? Whether you are HIV Negative, HIV positive, or don't know (PLEASE get tested if you don't!), talking to your partner about HIV status can be difficult. Here, inSPOT has some great tips and talking points, including ways to talk about it on different occasions:

HOW DO I SAY IT?

For many people, it's not easy to start the conversation. Some people rely on nonverbal ways to do it. Others assume that no mention of status at all is actually a way of disclosing. But most people say that the best way is to be direct.
 
There's not one phrase or expression that works in every situation. And, you'll have to decide for yourself what's the least awkward time and place to initiate the conversation - in the bar, in bed, online? Here are a few examples of what some people have said in different situations.
 
BEFORE SEX:
  • Before we jump in bed, I want you to know that I'm negative. Are you positive or negative?
ON-LINE:
  • Your bio says that you're positive; I'm negative. So, if we fuck we'll have to use condoms. Is that OK with you?
AFTER HITTING THE SCENE:
  • Earlier at the club you said that you didn't know anyone that has HIV. So it doesn't get too awkward later, I want you to know that I'm positive.
AFTER SEX:
  • It seemed like bringing up HIV when we were fooling around was going to ruin it. Since we didn't fuck, that was OK. I hope we can get together again and I wanted you to know that I just tested negative and haven't had risky sex with anyone since.
WITH SOMEONE YOU WANT TO DATE:
  • It always feels awkward bringing this up, but I see the potential of this
    going somewhere and I want us to be up front and honest with each other about the kinds of sex we've had since the last time we got tested.


The full article is here: it's a great read!
http://www.inspot.org/STDInfo/TalkingHIV/tabid/106/language/en-US/Default.aspx

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